ELEPHANT SONG
Words and music by Steve Mann


INTRO (D7 strum)

D7 G7
I was riding down a street one nothing day,
D7 G7 C7
On an elephant that fed on grass and hay;
F F#dim7
When two policemen arrested me,
D7 C
For having an indecently exposed elephant,
E7 A7 D7
And they put me in the car and drove me down town right away.

The policemen had no music in their car,
And that might be what makes them what they are;
They called me many names, and they played policeman games,
And I’m lucky I missed the feathers and the tar.

They booked me for inciting to a riot
But the cops themselves disturbed the peace and quiet;
Well, i can’t really tell when I’ll leave this prison cell,
But if I had a last chance I sure would try it.

So if you have an elephant here’s what you do,
Don’t feed him grass or hay but dress him in grey and blue;
And if you must go down town, then you better go Greyhound,
Because if your elephant is exposed the cops will get hep to you.

If you think my song is a bit preposterous,
Just imagine what would happen if you owned a rhinoceros;
You would have to dress him right, and keep his pants on tight,
Just like you would yourself, unless you just happened to own an ostrich.


One can be walking down a street in Los Angeles, conversing with an imaginary grass-fed friend, bothering no one, and be stopped by the police, questioned, arrested and put in jail. I would have no trouble understanding that the Elephant Song came from one or more genuinely scary situations involving Steve being picked up by the police simply for being, looking, or acting a bit different in public.
Although Steve does not like the word “ostrich” at the end of “Elephant Song,” because it does not rhyme with rhinoceros, no one else is bothered by this at all. If anyone can find a better way to rhyme this verse, Steve will start singing the song again. At present, he won’t do it.

If this episode is taken as a funny story, played in a straight-faced somewhat flat-footed manner, Elephant Song is sort of amusing. But if one realizes what St3ve’s life has been like, and how he can take a real life scary experience and make it sound like more fun than it actually was, then the origins of the story can be understood in a more serious way. Anyone who has ever been picked up by the police for any reason knows how scary this is, and how powerless one feels in the face of a large system that does not tolerate people’s differences with any humor.
Steve says he “just had a fantasy and wrote it down.”

All people in favor of elephants and ostriches and rhinoceroses and such, let’s hear it for freedom of the imagination, and no jails for musicians!
(APPLAUSE)

The music to “Elephant Song,” by the way, is somewhat of a musical joke as well, since it does not begin or end in its own tonic chord.

On the other hand, perhaps this song is in the key of D7th?

—JS